How Women see Men & Types of Women

25Sep06

I just turned 21 this year, & I’m only in my second relationship but I’m engaged to a wonderful guy who appreciates me, & I’ve been Aunty Agony to many girlfriends who seek my listening ear about their relationship problems ever since years before my own relationships started. I am, what they say, “mature for my age” when it comes to issues like this, therefore I hope I’m qualified to, as requested by The Capitalist Infidel, give my humble opinion of my understanding on this subject.

While going through a temporarily rough patch with my guy, I wrote about On being selfish & single. I mentioned how people get married for all the wrong reasons and end up all unhappy and feeling tied up. The bottomline for every woman who wants to be in a relationship is to be happily in a relationship, otherwise it’s better to stay single.
I used the defence of self-protectionism. Women seek to perfect an imperfect relationship all the time, trust me. But then they can turn out in 2 ways – to end it all when it doesn’t work out or to let it drag, hoping the guy will change for her. I always advise girlfriends in torturing relationships to avoid the latter. Ditch the guy who refuses to accept and appreciate the core of your existence because he who doesn’t respect your individuality doesn’t deserve your time.

For most women of today, as much as we want to have the perfect life with the perfect man, the ideal of perfection is nonetheless still a tad impossible to reach. Therefore, in the hopes of finding Mr Near-Perfect, women try to dissect the hints & tell-tale signs of Mr Potentials. It IS complex. I’ll try my best to simplify the mystifying criteria of What Women Want in men. I wrote in my first article on Honest Opinion on categories of Singaporean Males. And the following evaluation is way overdue because I did promise to follow up on why nice guys can’t get girls they like.

Imagine walking along Orchard Road as an eligible, attractive female in your early twenties and spotting some hotties as they walk past. Women are subtle when they check out dudes who catch their eyes.
We do not ogle, we do not stare. Maybe, if we want you to know we are checking you out and hopefully you’ll check us out in return, we give The Lingering Glance. Those who earn The Lingering Glance (because they look cute – a general description of guys who make us gush secretly) unfortunately, have a higher percentage of being another John Tucker who date for ego-boosts, pleasure and trophy girlfriends. All we really want is to make sure Mr Good-looker isn’t just looking for a quick fling for cheap thrills.

As a General Rule, women look for, above any other qualities, a great personality in men when seeking partners in relationships. We like a balance of sensitivity, chauvinism (yes it’s nice to an extent to let the man take charge once in a while. It can be rather manly and sexy. Just don’t overdo it), physical attractiveness, good hygiene (very important because women are attracted to men who smell clean: it means they take good care of themselves), sense of fidelity and morality, attentiveness (it means he listens and not take our complaints as nagging and demands) & worldliness (why do you think they say men are at their prime when they’re in their 40’s? It’s because by that age, accomplishment & wisdom in men make women look up to them with respect. They’ll feel a sense of security because they’re not with a man who doesn’t know to carry himself in public) at any age at all actually.

The irony in attracting girls is, men think smooth talk wins any girl over, but when done wrongly, it becomes a sign that he is trying too hard and that becomes a total turn-off.
Be earnest and sincere, and try not to sound sexist.

Of course, in deeper insight, different women look for different men. To make it simpler for you clueless single men out there, I hope this helps. But I’m afraid my knowledge is confined to university girls or girls in their early twenties.

Material Girl – She looks out for men who drive posh cars (even to school, because that means his Daddy’s rich) and wear designer clothes and speak fluent English. Need I say more? You should avoid her at all costs if you want to save your wallet. She’s usually typically thin-kinda pretty (not beautiful from within – think makeup and high heels and Hollywood-standard grooming), well-dressed and ultra sociable with everybody. She doesn’t mind rich but ugly men, as long as she gets her Gucci handbag and Jimmy Choos as birthday presents. All she wants is $ and to be driven around in a convertible, looking like she’s already leading the high life…

The One who doesn’t want to be left on the shelf – Do Not be shocked. Yes, there are some women who would settle for any guy who has interest in dating them because it makes them feel wanted. OR it makes them feel like they still have “market value” in the dating game. They usually come in groups of 2 to 4, & they’re always pleasant looking but not yet stunning, you know what I mean? They are trendy and clique-ish, sometimes still giggly and yes, they are quite flirty when they spot a guy they fancy. This is the group of women men-who-know-they’re-not-Tom-Cruise should go for. All they want is attention & a sincerity to have a real relationship. Women just want to be cherished and respected most of the time.

She who has independence and self-respect – Women like this have relationships & dating at the bottom of their to-do list. And they’re usually focused in their work and can be a bitch because they’re not trying for the popularity title. They can be hot or average looking, but usually they should end up looking polished as a testimony to their achievements. Think Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. They are seeking self-actualisation but they can do without romantic love because they have family and friends for emotional support.
The catch is, an equally self-respecting mature man would win her heart. And men who know they’re needy in a relationship should avoid trying to woo women of this kind because she will see you holding her back when you demand more attention than she can afford to give you. Boys need not apply.

Daddy’s Girl – Used to getting things her way, princesses like this have tantrums, will demand men to do things for her, and is emotionally fragile once she feels neglected because people are not revolving around her. Yet, men are attracted to girls like this because out of harmless chivalry & male-chauvinism, because they want to “protect” these little princesses. If you are one of those men who like cutesy pixeys and have a lot of love and patience to give, you probably will find bliss with a girl like this.

Miss Uncontented – She jumps from relationship to relationship looking for The One without realising she’s driving him away with her obssessiveness with the current boyfriend, planning futures together and giving herself in totality to every man in her relationship. Now that IS scary unless some dude can see something in common with her. I know guys need their guy-space to hang out with their buddies once in a while. With Miss U-C, that is not possible because she WILL be smothering you with attention. Literally.

In all the women described above, the General Rule applies. Now, I shall solve the mystery of why nice guys can’t seem to get girls to fall in love with them. The reason is, well, they’re too nice to everybody, so nice that the girl with them will feel like the affection is shared. Every girl wants to feel special. So even if you are a genuinely nice guy, be sure to draw the line & keep your distance with female friends for the sake of your girlfriend. It doesn’t mean you’re compromising your personality and friendships. In every relationship, there’s a give and take. If she is able to behave like she’s already yours, you better do the same for her. It’s tit for tad. If you start being overly helpful and nosy about the trivial affairs of other friends especially the female ones, she probably will start meeting and caring for guy friends because she thinks it’s alright for her to show friendly affection for other men like the way you’re so generous with your universal love. So, make a girl feel like she’s the centre of your universe, and she’ll be yours.

Another Honest Opinion exclusive.

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12 Responses to “How Women see Men & Types of Women”

  1. 1 Q

    sensitivity, chauvinism manly and sexy, physical attractiveness, good hygiene, sense of fidelity and morality, attentiveness & worldliness, accomplishment & wisdom?..i think that one is a case of judgement day, still finding

    • 2 Jared

      Not trying to call you out, but women know nothing about men, they only know what they think, or have heard or have felt from past experience, too all you guys out there, I’ll tell you straight forward, don’t go looking for a girl, its both economically and emotionally draining for a man. Your best bet is to just meet by chance. Any girl you meet at a bar or because she gave you some look, is going to be spoiled the second you take the time to make her feel better than she is. I’m no sexist but I am a man who is sick and tired of this women pampering world, if a girl wants to date you bad enough she will say something, if she doesn’t say anything then your better off…

  2. lol. well like i said it’s a balance… as long as a guy has like 70% of the ideal General Rule attributes, he’s good enough to be boyfriend material. 🙂
    what do you think of my analysis of girls? accurate?

  3. 4 Q the engineer

    haha just kidding… well i know there are some material girls and princesses. ms uncontented hmm? ive yet to see. anyway, i got one msg for all the ladies. we gotta spread the love. engineering needs help from business sch! =(

  4. Hahaha you poor poor engineering students.. Why don’t you be like Nive, go sign up for CCAs that take in exchange students. Maybe chicks from foreign lands have more love to give! lol.

  5. 6 N

    Well, CCAs that let you meet foreigners and exchangers aren’t a sure shot. And CCAs are a lot of work! And these foreigners aren’t who you work with. You work with fellow NTU ppl. And I didn’t meet anyone through my CCA directly. hahaha.. man, its so late to post a comment bt here I am.

  6. 7 Joe

    you girls are such bull-shit artists. lol.

    GIRLS WANT ATTRACTIVE GUYS – YOU ONLY SAY OTHERWISE TO KID YOURSELF.

    GIRLS GO FOR LOOKS, NOT PERSONALITY.

    BE HONEST TO YOURSELF ONCE IN A WHILE, NO MATTER HOW FUNNY/CLEVER/NICE A GUY IS, IF YOU DONT FIND HIM PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE THERE IS NO HOPE IN HELL THAT THIS GUY WILL DATE YOU. so stop lying.

  7. If you think like this all the time maybe because you’ve been falling in love with girls who actually just go for looks..? You sound like you’ve been hurt by a girl just like that.
    Everybody goes for looks on first impression, that’s the reality. But then what really makes a guy boyfriend/ husband material is really the personality. You can change a person’s looks, but you can’t change a person’s personality.
    I’ve been infatuated with guys who’re plain-looking but with hearts of gold, my friends have wonderful, doting boyfriends who look average. But then when the inferiority complex sets in because of preconceived notions that come from people like you that make them so insecure they start to get paranoid about who their girlfriends go out with or whether the girlfriend would leave them for the next hot guy who hits on them.
    If I meet a funny/clever/nice guy tomorrow who has chemistry with me, I won’t mind dating him even if he’s not a looker. 😉

  8. Oh, and to add on, I did admit physical attractiveness as part of the attributes girls look out for. But part of a balancing act with other stuff.

  9. 10 tma

    yap… i agree wif her
    cos my last crush is not look good
    i dun mean he is ugly
    he is jus average..but tall…
    and wat i love in him is gentle mannar(behave well)(respect to woman )…he treat me like he is a gentle man… he is a good listener ..seems wise….

    understand other’s feeling
    never corss the line
    //tats all many gurls falls for him
    he is famous also ba…from business skool….
    not cos of his look( he is realli avg)
    cos of his mannar
    more…he dress well…. i mean not trendy… jus neat n tidy ….
    for many gurls ,… no need to b too hot n sexy….
    i dun say tat woman dun like hot n sexy guys;;;;
    ofcos we love… haha….
    but we choose the man who will influence us ….when we were to give our love ..our heart….. we choose those who we can depend ..( knowningly or unknowingly )

    we like independent guys ….. but not to b too spoilt….

    we excited hot guys …. but dun mean tat we can give love easily to them… excitement n love r not the same …..

  10. 11 szez

    Aye, aye. 🙂

  11. 12 Jared

    The overall problem I see with this post, is the genuine attitude of women being the “pleased” in a relationship and men being the “pleaser”. To be honest im a 23 year old guy, and picking up women isn’t the problem, its having an intelligent conversation with them, or spending five minutes with a women before she overreacts, or the worst of all that almost all women are guilty of is the “who had it worse game”. Every woman does it, and it always starts the same way. Guy gets home from work, he doesn’t really wanna talk about it because he has already experienced it, but she sets him up and pry’s to get it out of him, so he says how work was, probably not that good. This is all followed by 30 minutes of complaining and crying and emotions that noone needs. The bottom line is this, women look so hard for imperfections, they’re gonna find them. As a man i’ve found it more productive to just live my life, and let them make the decisions as far as become more than friends, its just not worth it guys.

    On a separate note, the ‘scene’ of “dating”(an institution invented by women) is actually kind of pathetic these days. The selfishness of women has only been boosted because men continually agree to do dumb things because they think its what they like. I just got done reading GQ’s guide to meeting women and its actually sad, not even good tips just sad. Things like bars, night clubs, movies are all terrible ways to meet girls, but or society as a whole has put these ideas in womens heads that buying them drinks or dinner or whatever that somehow thats a key to a woman’s pants,(which its not). I find it to be extraordinarily sexist on the part women to even believe that I would pay for them a drink or dinner just to gamble and hope that maybe something else happens. On average as of 2011 men and women make roughly the same amount of money based of level of income, why is it that women are so obsessed with equal rights that they can be a bitch about it publicly, but when it comes to meeting men, its just a general rule that a man who will go broke for a woman has a chance…just venting because I’m tired of it. Keep it real chicks and it will pay great dividends, ask a guy out for a change, meet him somewhere and pay your own way, and he’ll see you as a grown up, not a 15 year old girl hes taking to prom.


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