How Men See Women and Multi-Dimensional Attractiveness
My article on why attractive people have unattractive partners has been pretty popular and honestly I’m really glad you guys liked it. However I’ve been noticing how people have been linked to the site with search terms like how they feel unattractive and honestly, I think people have been pretty harsh with themselves and it doesn’t feel good to see that.
First off, lets make this clear. Every one of our parents had no problems attracting mates. That means that our genes are good enough for us to attract mates of your own. Problem is, people tend to view attractiveness as something physical, something they are born with. Honestly I think attractiveness is not single dimensional. Character does count. So does the way you carry yourself. And these are the dimensions that determine the type of person you end up with, which honestly, counts for far more than the number of people attracted to you.
While I can’t speak for the girls, I have a pretty good understanding of how men see women. Almost every straight guy wants to have a pretty girlfriend. Such desires can be very strong and blur his judgement. This is where problems come in. How are these girls going to know who simply likes her body and who’s wasting her time? In many cases, the men don’t even know which dimension they are attracted to. This creates a lot of “noise” when the girls need to choose who to go out with.
While this may seem like a pleasant headache to many, there are costs attached to it. The most obvious is the time and attention they have to pay to this aspect of their life to get things right. I’m not exaggerating things here. How would you know if someone really wants you and suits you when even they don’t know. And once the novelty of looks wears off, you could find yourself with a lot of time and emotions down the drain and this cycle has to be repeated many more times than someone in a relationship when character was the key point of attraction.
And how could I forget one of the major reasons I’m grateful to be a guy. Rejection hurts, especially when you’re the one dishing it out. The guilt is terrible. I don’t know about you but it cuts me every time I have to reject someone. Imagine the number of people pretty girls have to reject, never knowing whether she could be rejecting the person that was meant for her in the first place. Maybe some people like it, but I think it justifies me locking myself up in my room. Just in case.
I can’t and won’t pretend that I can tell you all the troubles associated with being pretty because I’m not a girl. I’ll have to leave it to Szez to write that because she’s the pretty one here. But, as a guy, I have to say that most of us do not feel that attractiveness is just physical and therefore impossible to control. The other dimensions I mentioned here, character and behaviour, contribute far more to long term relationships, those that count, far more than just looks. Yes, even to us sex-crazy guys.
This is an Honest Opinion exlusive.
Filed under: Love & Relationships, personal thoughts | 1 Comment