Be careful of what you wish for


I’m in a one-year old relationship, and it’s been a helluva ride for me and my guy (let’s call him Joe) because we’re both rather possessive people, both stubborn, both egoistic and both extremely passionate towards this relationship. When things are going nice and rosy, we’re literally joined at the hip, and things get pretty ugly when we fight. Pretty typical relationship actually.

See, the thing is, we’ve always insisted in honesty with each other. And Joe’s in Canada while I’m in Singapore, so… never mind the 15-hour time difference, we need a LOT of faith and honesty and cooperation to make this work. Lately, we’ve sorta run out of meaningful things to say to each other on the phone, and we call each other like, everyday once just so I know that he’s safe and well and he can rant to me about his new M6 and boating lessons. (yea, guys and their machines… *rolls eyes*)
So we’ve been joking about going on a break for the sake of trying to date other people to see how it’s like to miss each other…And I was a little shocked when he said “Are you serious?” because I thought this would NEVER seriously cross his mind. I don’t know if we’ve taken the joke too far.

I’ve never approved of “testing” a relationship just to see where it leads to, like, if you’re really meant for each other. If you truly love someone, why would you jeopardize the relationship by creating the perfect situation to cheat? OK, I’m obviously not for open relationships. lol. But unorthodox relationships aside, dating other people while on a break with someone you know you love is like creating a void in each others’ history that you’d always be curious about since you’re never gonna disclose all the details of what went on while you were not with him/her, and to me that’s as good as cheating. (Come’on, nobody can be THAT honest given freedom of this kind)
Besides, many things can go wrong with the first relationship when you subject it to a test like this: you can fall in love with the new person you date while on the break, you can let the date linger on even after you get back together with the boyfriend / girlfriend because you’ve caused one more person to fall for you and you now hafta deal with 2 people fighting for your attention (one will ask if you still love her/him and the other will convince you that you love her/him), when you decide to come back to the serious relationship, the other one might still be having fun doing the dating game, etc. And when those things happen, you’ll ask yourself if that little test was worth it especially when you thought you knew and loved the person. Why go through all that?

Maybe I’m too conservative, or too narrow minded, or not adventurous. But when it comes to the guy I know I care about, other girls better keep their paws off my man (although it’s understandable if he checks out hot girls in Canada, my eyes linger on hotties here myself. It’s normal.) And I’m not establishing double standards. I maintain the same degree of fidelity for myself.

Another thing I don’t get about people is that why would a girl lead a guy on with teasing and flirting if she’s not interested in him romantically? I just hate mind games like that. It’s a cheap thrill for ego boost & it breaks people’s hearts. Perhaps I’m too moral for the dating scene in this time, but at least I’ve got enough sense not to be the female version of John Tucker. lol.


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