Singaporean Males

09Jul06

This article was written on March 13 2006, and i shall post it here as my first post as this is the most frequently read article from my personal blog. Enjoy.

I was driving to the immigration this morning before i came back to woodlands and i heard Glenn Ong and Rod Monterio having a call-in from listeners for their opinion on the recently-married Joey Swee’s comment that she chose not to marry a Singaporean because Singaporean men are “boastful”. I almost laughed out loud. Boastful is not only a kind & somewhat over-generalised euphemism but also an understatement for the other many traits i see in Singaporean guys these days.

First, I must give due credit to the selected few who actually do stand above the crowd in terms of mannerism, desirability & eligibility. Unfortunately, those who qualify for all three are likely to have already declared themselves part of the pink community or are already taken, much to the alarm of single women who intend to marry one of them SG-men and settle on this island for the rest of their lives.

I identify several types of Singaporean men:

– The egoistic ugly rich guy who gets materialistic girls swarming all over him and uses the hot-index of girls he attracts as a gauge of his own desirability.

– The good looking, egoistic, “artistic & intellectual” poor guy (aka pimps wannabe) who would like a hot sugar mommy or a wildly rich and gorgeous girlfriend because they think of themselves as hot and desirable and able to get any girl they want as long as the girl pays for everything; hell, the girl will be so taken with their “qualities” she will WANT to take them under her wings and pay for everything won’t she?

-The mommy boys, or rather, spoilt brats who need another care-giver in the house in the form of girlfriends because they can’t do their own dishes and laundry. They crave to meet the Stepford housewife.

– The nice, mild and reasonably good-looking poor guy who gets ousted either because of the competition from more eligible counterparts or because of their own low self-esteem & inadequate dating experience (typically the post-national service type).

– The “sisterly” kind of guy who can connect so well with girls they might as well be married to one but are, well, just ain’t boyfriend material. This is a gray area even i can’t explain. And i do feel sorry for this type of guys.

– The rare good bloke who respects women and actually wants to fall in love with, provide for and grow old with one of the women in the country [regardless of their wallet-size and looks, these guys usually end up with nice girls (also declining in numbers in the country) who see the guy for who he is and not what he is].

Needless for me to say, the last 2 catergories of guys are the only ones who don’t demand their girlfriends to look like slimming advertisement models.

And they have it bad too because I can’t just defend my own kind; I have to be brutally honest. Not all Singaporean girls have the it-factor to make guys wanna go after them. But that I won’t go into details. I just class them (from guys point of view) into hot-plain-ugly. Period. It’s sad but many guys see girls that way. But not those who’re in the last 2 catergories above, of course. They tend to look for the inner beauty in girls they know, instead of judging people by the way they look.

So anyway. Back to the “boastful” part of SG-men. I’m not sure what exactly they’re supposed to be boastful about. I assume that’s the word Joey Swee used for egoistic and uncharming. The point is, most SG-men do have a thwarted perception of women. It’s a clash of Asian and Western influence, I’d say.

Asian influence says women should be home-makers, good mothers & submissive wives. Western influence says women should be following Hollywood actresses’ grooming standards – Brazilian waxing, hot, svelte bod, porcelain skin, flowing head of crowning glory, smart, good to be seen with.

Combine the 2 and that’s what most SG-men are looking for in girls. Which explains why many SG-girls have really alluring figures but average-looking face with tons of make-up. Just trying to fit into idea of Hollywood-hot. There’s another mystery of why nice guys in sg can’t get girls. Another time perhaps.

AMEN for globalisation. Local men, better buck up or the girls are gonna set their eyes on men from distant lands. And don’t call them Sarong Party Girls because that’s so yester-year. Wake up. You’re facing competition from around the globe.

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24 Responses to “Singaporean Males”

  1. 1 tma

    omg omg… realli nice topic…today i saw a group of boys ….in orchard …. very hot as korean stars as usual… but the faces r realli hot n handsome…lol…. haha ,,one guy attract me ….. i saw so many SG guys alr… jus hot but realli average in looking….. so i try to search tat guy who attract me … hehehe …me stupid ah?
    hrmm for real…i search a bf in SG now… 😀

  2. 2 Peter

    Well, everyone is different. But i believe above catergorized can be in any country. Looking for love is always easy, but maintaining one is hard. Better fall in love then to look for love. So even if u start one with anyone from any country it will still take effort to keep it going.

  3. Here we’re not talking about looking for love or falling in love per se, but judging the calibre of Singaporean men in particular in terms of their eligibility. I agree that the above categories can be found in any country, but in Singapore alone they’re more prevalent, and so far from my observations & hearing anedotes from friends,
    I stand justified in my views. Sad, but true. The gentleman with worldly wisdom and gallantry? I can’t see any Singaporean man who embodies these qualities. But I have in Indonesian, Malaysian, Indian, Spanish, Italian, German, Swedish, Canadian etc born and bred men. So.
    I’m not saying 100% of Singaporean men aren’t good enough to date, but the few who are either are taken or are gay.

  4. 4 Nao

    ahha… or maybe they will go for a foreign girl… hey you guys said globalization…
    it’s not a one way street… =)

    happy hunting.

  5. 5 cOnfUsEd_oZ_gAL

    TNX and hugs fr sydney for this blog post! I am sooo confUsEd riiight now about this guy from Singapore i have a thing for i thought he was latin American at first until i found his middle name was L.wen which was chinese and his indian last name thanabalan, but now i am getting more clues as to why he never asks me out even tho i knoooe he is sooo into me..FRUSTRATING! 😮 …hence my search on the topic…tNX sooooo much for the re-posting of your blog topic it is so helpful for me an aussie gal to try n understand the mindset of this guy. He is worth it i believe but i am not sure he fits either of your types because he is not juz the rare bloke who goes for more than lookz but he is really too handsome for words too (kinda cross between team jacob and a portuguese soccer player ) so i didnt think of him as good bf material but he is also sooo sweet and kind so i am confUsEd as, but it is really helpful to read this post, tnx heaps!

  6. 6 Luccy

    I agree 100% with this.
    There are worldly wisdom and gallant men in Singapore though.. except, they fill in those categories you posted. Urgh.
    I know since I’ve a philosophical guy-friend which fell under the sister category that I talk to. He’s not much a looker and is pretty much a round nerdy teddy bear but I confessed twice my interest. I wouldn’t say I’m a model but I consider myself as least presentable with a touch of traditional/country look.
    Guess what? He rejected me and got rejected by another moderately-looking girl that he views in his eyes as the morally perfect kind-hearted girl. And he remains heart-broken for 3 months to this day. I’m not putting up my offer, as I had placed the second up even after he told me his interest.

  7. 7 BY

    szez:
    “Here we’re not talking about looking for love or falling in love per se, but judging the calibre of Singaporean men in particular in terms of their eligibility. I agree that the above categories can be found in any country, but in Singapore alone they’re more prevalent, and so far from my observations & hearing anedotes from friends,

    I stand justified in my views. Sad, but true. The gentleman with worldly wisdom and gallantry? I can’t see any Singaporean man who embodies these qualities. But I have in Indonesian, Malaysian, Indian, Spanish, Italian, German, Swedish, Canadian etc born and bred men. So.”

    Doesn’t seem unique to Singapore. Women complain about the men in their country while speaking well of men in other countries. Men also do the same with women.

    I think this is just a case of “the grass is greener on the other side.”

  8. 8 szez

    It’s been 4 years since I posted this, and today my opinion hasn’t changed.

    The grass from the other side has been transplanted to this side because Singapore is such a cosmopolitan city we get so many nationalities working & living here. So no, I think when I made the comparison between local men and men who are brought up in other countries, I make a fair judgement.

    Of course whatever I think of the local male species does not apply to every single one of them. But you know what, it’s been 4 years since I posted this article and I still think the same after all this time.

  9. 9 swipkick

    Purely typecasting.

    szez, ur sample size of singaporean male friends is probably too small to justify ur conclusion of Singaporean men. An extremely flawed article peppered with your own biase perception.

    Perhaps ur subconscious mind keeps telling you that everything foreign must be good and that’s why u readily believe in all sorts of unpleasant rumours about local guys and choose only to see the bad in them.

    I quote this from your last post ” I make a fair judgement”.

    That is a very strong statement…… What makes u think that ur judgement is fair? Just by your interaction with a handful of local guys and foreign guys? Have you spent enough time with them to really understand what they are really like? Have you formulated some sort impartial test that can be scientifically tested to support your judgement?
    From that statement, I can tell that you really think highly of yourself; pure ego without the backing of substance. Hey, judge not lest be judge yea!?

    It appears to me that the typical sg girl demands a lot out of local guys, but i wonder if what they have to offer commensurate with what they demand?

  10. 10 Mikey

    Szez,

    You can come up with millions of comparison and it doesn’t make a difference. Some Sg gals like foreign guys and the guys go for foreign woman, so i think it is fair and square.

    Move on with your life and find what you want. At the end of day, the foreign guys doesn’t fit your imagination again, please don’t form your opinions on them… please !!! Opinions are like toilet paper, you wipe the shit on yr arse and throw away.

    Mikey

  11. 11 Clown Prince

    Hey Small Girl, you are really a frog in the well, what you classified there can apply to any country, if you go to Ang Moh country, I’m sure you will be disappointed to find they have the same type of people there too.

    You must be those that got left on the Shelve and are really nervous because of your expiry date.

  12. 12 Kute Steiner

    Your past experiences and salient read of the singaporean guys is spot on…well mostly….

    But please be kind to them…

    Do kindly take into account many of them fall into this “classes” due to the education system that leetarded their capabilty and capacity to be more then they can be but didn’t or could not during their initial stages of growing up…thus missing out on being a real person with real independent views/real intelligence…..and being just a real human being instead of some kind of artificial construct living a live conditioned and manipulated by others in the background. Kind of shocking many of them go thru their lives without realizing how badly they been “played” by the local education system and the PAP government.

    But i believe some of them and many of them are starting to awaken.

    So please give these guys a second chance to “re-grow” up again and be a real warm & truely independent thinking human being.

    Good day everyone : )

  13. Kute Steiner, I think you might have explained it better for me, the education system is partly to blame, I agree. I guess it’s also due to the whole social system as well… But you know, people still fall in love and get married in Singapore, perhaps I still am in denial.

    As for the ownders of the rest of the bitter comments left here, yea actually I am starting to notice Singaporean men I want to date. Sadly, a lot of them are not into women or they are married. (I know many people say the same thing and it’s becoming a cliche, but it’s true…) Woe is to me! Maybe I am getting afraid of being left on the shelf.

    Or maybe I’m just destined to never meet someone intriguing (and available) enough. Lol. I’ve also become a workaholic since my last post, therefore the lack of posts in the recent months.

    Speed/blind dating anyone? I’m game to have dinner or coffee or a drink for anyone who’s as single and bored out as me. Lol.

  14. *Correction: “owners”

  15. 15 Jason

    Lots of thoughts and feelings after i read through all of the above..putting that all aside, i just have this to say:

    1. Be it guy or gal, man or women, foreigner or local, all of us just wants to be loved and simply to love those whom we care and valued.

    2. Everyone is born different, differing family background/values/upbringing/culture/education system.

    3. We are still not deprived of our own set of thinking and how we come to perceive all that is around us.

    As such:

    1. Why do we have to make everything ‘complex’ when Love is really really ‘simple’.

    2. Always look for your partner’s ‘pros’ and make up for their ‘cons’.

    3. Compare less and appreciate all that your partner has to give for you, everybody is different and so life is beautiful. If you love him/her for whom they really are from the inner soul, then that is true love and not superficial love. Times are different so we appear as in who we are with ‘packaging’ (refering to wearing of make-up, attire etc).

    4. Our lifelong partner is not a possession as with yourself so there is little need to ‘control’ him or her and vice versa.

    5. Take good care of yourself first and that will lessen the worries for your loved ones.

    6. An individual’s education background, upbringing, religion, wealth is important but it should not come too much into the life that both of you are going to spent thereafter.

    7. When both of you have decided to be together, then everything starts to take ‘2 hands to clap’ from here on. There is REALLY a need to slightly alter your mindset since every action taken shall affect your spouse as with you.

    8. Trust is important so ‘bare’ it all. There will be no secrets between you and your love.

    9. Respect and help each other out in times of good and bad, hand in hand.

    10. Times are different so it’s alright to help out with chores or cook be it men/women.

    11. Men have an extra muscle so its natural we help out the ladies when its necessary in carrying heavy stuff.

    12. Ladies are natural ‘motherly’ so men should not shy away if they tend to you at times of need.

    13. Refrain from being quick to argue/hate but instead, set some compromise if necessary and keep to it. Husband/Wife must know their own boundaries.

    14. In the future when you have kids, love them and nurture them in line, being always the eldest even if you have more than 1 children but teach the eldest to pass it on to the young ones. This will imbue responsibility to them from a young age. Always explain to them for every critical actions taken or done. Respond to their queries often.

    I apologise for such a long reply above. Just my humble opinions, hope it helps. Most of all, my emphasis is DON’T GIVE UP for those who are single and keep it up for those already attached! When it comes down to it, it is just a matter of effort! If True love prevails, change is but a matter of time if you love each other, nobody is perfect so be less demanding when courting your ideal partner.

    All the best!!

    • 16 rawr

      ^^ wow you totally nailed it!! researching how a singaporean be as a good lover if they can really be one? or just another “man” under his mother’s skirt?

  16. Let me put out the real truth. I think it’s the Sg CHINESE guys who have very poor taste. Honestly when you observe all that you see you will notice that Sg chinese guys will go for only chinese girls with long straight hair, fair skin and who only wears shorts. Becoz honestly people our sg chinese girls are really nothing to look at. They will only act proud and all that when they glue on their fake eyelashes and wear their fake enlarge my pupil as-if-my-eyes-are-dat contact lenses. When u peel all these away, Sg chinese girls have the most plain bun faces around. that’s why it’s hard to tell one chinese girl from another when they all stand in a line without make up and take a picture. Believe me it’s not just me saying this, all my international friends say this as well. But sumhow it seems only their chinese guys can tell them apart. A very strange phenomenon. The average chinese guy is attracted to plain and ugly. Really. Everytime i see a typical chinese couple or i flip through a wedding display album, the guys seem ok but the sg girls are just ugly.
    how do these guys hook up wif such ugly girls? everywhere u see on the MRT, in malls, always a chinese guy wif an ugly chinky girl or a fake eyelash girl in shorts. Honestly, these chinese girls know they’re only assets are their legs so the only way they can get attention is to wear shorts and expose their leg flesh. or wear the skimpiest outfit like a tank top and shorts. they dont seem to have any other clothes at home. Always shorts shorts shorts. They feel inadequate if they dont wear their shorts and feel unsexy and can’t get guys’ attention if they dont wear shorts.

    Now that I got that outta the way and said it like it is, we all can breathe easier. Dont deny it, that’s exactly how it is.
    that’s why we dont have hot mamas in sg, all these blind poor standard sg chinese boys date and marry ugly girls and when they pop kids they look even uglier and older when days go by.

    Plus, sg Chinese guys are a bunch of whimps. if they see a good lookg girl, they would NEVER do anything about it. Just stand there and act as if nothing has happened. then they’ll mix around with their ugly girl friends and hook up with an ugly one and marry her. It’s a very sad cycle. That’s why Sg chinese kids are the ugliest kids around. Ugly genes. Poor breeding.

    • 18 ahbeng

      bibi, u are damn freaking right….most sg girls are some of the worst looking female living things on earth. i say they are living thing is because some animals are even better looking than them. but they still demand this and that from the guys…they always say they are independent but want always want from the guys to buy branded bags, u no car they wont even want to talk to u,and they expect to live like a tai tai once they get married…shit man they cant cook, no looks no figure no value for money and still want to act classy just like that felicia chin, always think that only ang mo guys deserved to have them….well have u noticed something? ang mo guys tend to like ugly asian gals with tanned skin, slanty eyes,small boobs etc…bcos they are not fussy with asian who are easy to fuck sluts….lucky for me my wife is australian and she is hot and cook some of the delicious food around 🙂

  17. 19 wad

    im looking to date white girls. sg girls are dull and boring in char and does not know how to treat a men. Materialistic as well. Who cares anyway

    From a Hot handsome sg man

  18. 20 szez

    Lol I actually quite agree with Bibi too. Oh, did I mention that I’m actually Malaysian not Singaporean? :p

  19. 21 Raising Hell

    Unfortunately the nice girls in this country are near extinction, so stop complaining about guys in singapore because I can assure you girls really aren’t any better, maybe worse. And yes, I agree with Bibi too.

  20. I am genuinely grateful to the owner of this site who has
    shared this enormous article at here.

  21. 23 Calvin

    SG girls nowadays have a serious problem, because all the men aren’t interested in them anymore, they are all going for foreign women, and many foreign women are filling up Singapore, and these are the pretty ones too..


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